Networking Information

Networking: Is Your Approach Too Self-Centered?


It's a classic mistake by networkers: their approach is focused on their own needs rather than on the needs of their contacts.

Fortunately, a popular new book by Bonnie Lowe makes it easy to solve this problem. The book, "Networkaholics Revealed! True Confessions From People Who Networked Their Way to Success (And How You Can Do the Same)," provides strategies and success stories from 49 master networkers.

Many of those strategies focus on how networkers can benefit from being selfless instead of selfish.

The goal is happier contacts, which ultimately translates into long-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships.

"It's natural for people to look out for their own self interests when they start any important activity," Lowe said. "So many people focus their networking efforts on obtaining things they want (more leads, referrals, sales and business).

"But the best networkers know this is a huge mistake. While those desired outcomes are shared by all networkers, people who put others' needs before their own will reap far greater rewards."

According to Lowe, the first and most important step when striving to build a meaningful network is to consciously suspend your self interest.

Then follow these three steps:

1. Ask yourself, "How can I help them?" (instead of "How can they help me?"). Give a lot of thought to what you can offer them, such as:

  • Something they cannot do.
  • Something they will not do.
  • Something they do not want to do.

    "If you can do any of those three things, you immediately have value," said Chip Tarver, author of First Contact Secrets. "If you have value in a stranger's eyes, he/she will think you're worth getting to know. If you don't have value, why would they care about you? Your goal should be to help others. If your only goal is to help yourself, you're not going to be much of a networker, because you'll become known as a 'taker,' not a 'giver.' Givers have the greatest networks and they typically give out of a heart of giving, not out of selfishness to enrich themselves."

    Dr. Harlan Kilstein, CEO of Overnight Copy, offers this strategy: "The best thing you can do, well before you meet with people, is find out about them, their businesses, their products, etc. Give them positive feedback. Most importantly, find out what you can do for them. That's the true definition of networking."

    Ken McCarthy, Founder of Amacord, Inc., said, "Never look at people as a means to an end. I know a lot of people do that and become successful that way, but they flame out as people around them realize, 'This guy is totally in it for himself; he doesn't care about me.' People figure that out eventually. But if you offer service and are truly helpful to someone, then all doors open to you."

    2. Be kind.

    "One of my favorite bumper stickers is 'Practice Random Acts of Kindness,'" Lowe said. "That applies perfectly to networking."

    Helena Bouchez, Owner of Lenalinks Creative Technical Writing & Consulting, said, "Acts of kindness have tremendous impact and create instant rapport. People do not expect it. You become top-of-mind for the person you help. It's not a linear process. All help given comes back multiplied - but not necessarily from the person you helped! A lot of people don't understand this and get very fixated on 'score keeping' and extracting something from the person they gave something to. That's not how it works. Generosity creates a positive vibe, and is a magnet for good situations."

    3. Be patient.

    Some benefits of your generosity will be immediate, but not all.

    David Garfinkel, Founder of World Copywriting Institute, suggests, "Take a long-term view about 'getting yours.' Things can happen in a flash, but often you'll help someone and years later, just when you need it, people in your network will be there for you in ways you never could have anticipated."

    In Summary

    "All business is ultimately about people and relationships," said Lowe. "We all feel better doing business with people we like. When you are generous to others and genuinely care about helping them, they will naturally like you and want to help you in turn."

    Giving first also invokes the universal law of reciprocity. In other words, if you do something for someone else, that person feels obliged to return the favor and do something for you.

    The end result of all this generosity? Long-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships!

    Bonnie Lowe is author of the popular book, "Networkaholics Revealed! True Confessions From People Who Networked Their Way to Success (And How You Can Do the Same)." For more information about this helpful networking resource, go to http://www.Networkaholics-Revealed.com


    MORE RESOURCES:

    eFluxMedia

    IBM and social networking
    ZDNet - 5 hours ago
    Some time ago I had a long talk with an IBM’er about social networking. He said the first key to bringing social networking to business was a simple ...
    IBM opens beta for Bluehouse online social networking and ... NetworkWorld.com
    IBM is Closer to Building Bluehouse to Compete With Cisco, Google ... eWeek
    IBM to launch free beta trial of professional networking site ... TelecomTiger
    The Inquisitr - CNNMoney.com
    all 48 news articles


    Key Industry Figures to Address Storage Networking World Fall 2008 ...
    MarketWatch - 5 hours ago
    Storage Networking World is the world's largest and foremost storage networking event and the only conference where IT managers and professionals get an ...


    Home Networking CPE and Aggregation Devices to Generate $1.8 ...
    MarketWatch - 5 hours ago
    A new ABI Research study focused on residential gateways forecasts that home networking consumer premises equipment (CPE) and aggregation devices will ...


    ADVA OPTICAL NETWORKING'S FSP 150 TO BE DEPLOYED IN THUS' NATIONAL ...
    MarketWatch - 11 hours ago
    ADVA Optical Networking today announced that THUS, one of the UK's leading business service providers, has selected the ADVA FSP 150 to assist with the ...
    THUS Deploys ADVA Optical Networking's FSP 150 TMCnet
    ADVA OPTICAL NETWORKING'S FSP 150 TO BE DEPLOYED IN THUS' NATIONAL ... International Business Times
    all 15 news articles


    Americans Throw Caution to the Wind When It Comes to Social Networking
    MarketWatch - 9 hours ago
    ... 2008 (MARKET WIRE via COMTEX) -- More than one in two (53 percent) Americans are concerned about security threats when using social networking sites ...
    Banks Team Up for Cyber Security Awareness Month to Help Canadians ... MarketWatch
    all 16 news articles


    ChattahBox

    Facebook Co-Founder Leaving to Start New Social Networking Venture
    IT Business Edge, KY - 5 hours ago
    Facebook co-founder Dustin Moskovitz announced he will be leaving the company in about a month to start his own social networking venture with Facebook ...
    Facebook Co-Founder To Leave For Own Software Startup InformationWeek
    Facebook co-founder quits Siliconrepublic.com
    Facebook co-founder to leave Media Guardian
    TelecomTiger - eFluxMedia
    all 50 news articles


    'Speak Once, Update All' with Ping Through SpinVox
    MarketWatch - 2 hours ago
    ATLANTA, Oct 06, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- With the explosion of social networking came the pain of having to log in and separately update a number of ...
    Raptr Adds Social Media Site Ping.fm to Their Growing List of Services MarketWatch
    all 17 news articles


    MySpace and Facebook Fast Becoming the Leading Mobile Social ...
    MarketWatch - 5 hours ago
    No other social networking site reached 15% adoption mobile adoption. "As in the online social networking space, there is clearly a large gap between the ...
    MySpace, Facebook widen mobile social networking lead Fiercemobilecontent
    Facebook, MySpace reign supreme in mobile market CNET News
    Facebook closing market share gap with MySpace Daily Times
    all 15 news articles


    Teachers befriending their students on social networking sites
    Dallas Morning News, TX - Oct 5, 2008
    By KATHERINE LEAL UNMUTH / The Dallas Morning News Social networking Web sites started out as places for teenagers and college students to socialize. ...
    Big Spring English educator among Teacher of the Year finalists PennLive.com
    Schools try new way of teaching, learning Macon Telegraph
    all 10 news articles


    Fitspott Offers a Social Networking Platform to Help Health and ...
    PR Web (press release), WA - 11 hours ago
    Fitspott, a social networking platform for health and fitness, will launch the beta version of its site in the upcoming months. The platform will organize ...

    Networking - Google News

  • home | site map
    © 2006